Reluctant
by DK21
Summary: Reluctant in accepting his wife's death, Kenjirou once again visits her grave, Ayaka's grave. In search for answers to his questions, and questions to the answers he held. But, most of all, to remember her last words, her words that he did not heed.


**_"Reluctant"_**

**_ DISCLAIMER: This particularly bored person _****_DOES NOT_****_ own Kagerou Project. If this fanfic is similar to some other fanfics, just consider it a coincidence since this plot just popped in my head._**

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_"Ayaka... Just wait, okay... I'll be there..."He said calmly as he desperately made his way to his wife... on the other side of the wretch that can still be considered as a car. Still strapped to the chair and now fully accepting the fact that she can't get loose from the seatbelt's grip..._

_"Kenjirou..." she mouthed as she flashed a smile and push the man out of her reach as she noticed the unstable car on the cliff about to... fall..._

**The doctor slammed his book shut as those memories begin to taunt him again. His wife. Their car. The accident. Her death. He stood up from his chair and decided to go there again today, brushing away from his children he cannot face, briskly passing them towards the door... with another bouquet with him.**

_"C'mon, I only need a dance partner for tomorrow's dance! And no one has ever turned down my request!" an annoyed young man said as he followed a young lady who let out an exasperated 'laugh.'_

_ "I don't really care Tateyama-Sempai - and if no one has ever turned you down, maybe you should list me as a first and continue searching for a partner~" she said with a grin as she turned her head towards the annoyed young guy._

_"Everyone except you and I has a partner-"_

_"Oh, Correction – I already have one" she said nonchalantly as she quickened her pace - and now, running away from her annoying Sempai who still chased her asking for questions and such..._

**A simple bouquet – filled with red roses he himself picked by hand. As he stepped outside he hesitated infront of his car and decided to take the short walk to his destination instead... Ignoring the heat of that hot summer day...**

_"Sorry Ayaka – Thanks though!" a guy said as he parted from her towards another girl. To a blonde-haired, blue-eyed and sexy-looking foreigner who studies in another course and such. To how the jerk met someone of her sorts, I don't really care._

_"C'mon..." Kenjirou said as he dragged the confused girl to the center of the dance, and like the people surrounding them - they danced too...The song was convenient for them since it only needs the dancers to sway slightly, hold each other in their arms, and have the female to rest her face on the guy's chest - though it was optional, they did it anyway – since it allowed the girl to cry silently and for the boy to cover her face and comfort her... The dance lasted as long as the long night was..._

_ "Gomen ne... Kenjirou-Sempai... I've refused to dance with you but still ended up dancing with you anyway, you've comforted me and now you also send me home... I'm really horrible ain't I..." she said nearly above a whisper,_

_"Eh, you actually called me in my first name!" the guy announced teasingly and in awe as he opened the car door for the girl who looked up to him in tears,_

_"T-t-that's not the point!" she managed to say before the guy's lips met hers. It was for a brief moment but it still lingered on each other's lips... the guy grinned mischievously while the girl covered her lips, stopping any of her curses to escape from those lips that still felt his._

_"That's right! That's not the point!"_

**He nested a kiss on it as he laid the bouquet gingerly and gently on the tombstone that bears his loved one's name: Tateyama Ayaka... his first and last wife... Memories started to flood his mind once more. Those days when he courted her until she gave in, his first date with her, teaching her, their wedding, the memory of thanking her for bearing his first born, and even ones that makes him feel inferior... especially ****_that..._**

_"Kenji...rou..."_

_ "Ayaka, I'll get you out of there, just stay put and wait for me, okay, I'll be there in a moment..." He said cautiously, knowing that any rash movement might be the reason of their fall, but no matter what, he was adamant to continue in struggling his way to her, Ayaka, on the other side of the car. Still trapped and still strapped to the chair by the reluctant seatbelt that held her by its grasp..._

_"Kenjirou..." she said once again as he shouted once again, he was about her reach now..._

S_he flashed a smile, knowing that there really is no way for her to get out of this safely... "Hey..." but the man continued on, not heeding any of those words she was saying, another creak, a little stronger than before... _

_And the next thing he knew, he was pushed, pushed by his wife who was mouthing his name 'Kenjirou' floating slowly away from him, in the car, off the cliff..._

** Kenjirou now broke into tears, regretting everything that had happened, regretting in not heeding his wife's last words to him, regretting not even remembering anything from it, and regretting being alive... when, he heard a voice...**

_"Hey... " It was Ayaka,_

_ "Listen, just a bit you bastard... It's okay..." she said as she frowned, she let out a sigh, possibly knowing that her husband wouldn't heed her, but she continued, _

_ "I may never be able to say this to you again so... I'll say this to you even if you won't listen... First, 'Gomen ne' – I really am sorry, I don't really think that I would be able to survive from this alive so... live for me..." she stared at his cold and furious eyes, "well, sadly, not just for me, but also for you, for Ayano, for Shuuya, for Kousuke, and for Tsubumi..."_

_ "Second, 'Arigatou ne...' I-" she stopped for a moment as she felt the slight shift... though nervous, she tried her best to keep calm and continue, "I really thank you for the day that you held me in your arms, that you held me tight... easing me from the pain I felt... allowing me to be your wife no matter how unworthy I am of you – Allowing me to bear your daughter, to be able to be with you for all those times, to be allowed to have you- " sadly, there was not enough time for her to say more, because now the unstable car has quivered a little but too much. She knew what would happen if Kenjirou continued to venture a little more to her, they would fall together. She stretched a smile as she pushed him away from her and her away from him, in tears, she mouthed..._

_"Kenjirou. Anata o Koishiteru... Hontou... Ni..."_

** The doctor turned to look from behind him just right in time as her action of mouthing those words animated before him, and he swore that he saw a faint image of her smiling at him. He smiled back as the image fainted away along with the yellow rays of the sun. The yellow rays disappeared to give way for the orange ones, it was sunset, and for once, he noticed how long he's been out. His family must be worried by now...**

** He allowed himself to move on from his wife's death – for he knew she'll get mad at him if he didn't. He will try and live for her, for him, for Ayano, and even for the three- Shuuya, Kousuke, and Tsubumi. With the burden uplifted he hurriedly went home, to greet the waiting family for him. He decided to be strong and face whatever fate will throw infront of him to stop him. But fate is totally unfair and so is life, so short and so bitter. He now confronted something he couldn't take anymore. His only daughter's death, Ayano's death.**

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**_...Finally, I was able to make a fanfic about Kenjirou (noticed that there weren't too many fanfics about him) – for a certain friend of mine who suggested of writing one. _**

**_Well... To place some random facts here: Kenjirou courted the runaway Ayaka in college until she said yes and married him. Kenjirou and Ayaka both died in an accident while driving somewhere to somewhere; there was a landslide, and if I remember correctly, Ayaka's body was never retrieved at all. Kenjirou was able to contact Azami in the 'World of Haze' or 'Never-Ending World' and so on and so forth. –and -yes, he gained some powers just like the rest of the others._**


End file.
